Do you have any birds in your life? That person who has to have the last word in a discussion or argument? Maybe you fall into this sometimes? How committed to being right are you? It feels good when you are right, when your argument succeeds. And sometimes we invest a lot of energy in the argument and the last thing we want to do is let go before we “win”.

A sure way of having the last word is to say ‘you are right.’ You are right lets go of your attachment to the outcome. And it also acknowledges that this discussion is about something more than a single point. More likely you are defending your position so adamantly because there is tension or contention in the relationship. That warrants a different conversation to realign the relationship.

If you are in dialogue with a last word bird then you know that holding your position isn’t going to get you where you want to go. Listen for what is important to them, acknowledge that underlying value (no, you don’t have to tell them they are right when they really aren’t), and wait for a time when there is less heat to ask them what is important about being right.