Ever been to a tea party with a little one? Drinking out of empty cups after being poured from an empty pot? Do you feel more compelled to be immediately responsive to your phone, mail, and texts while working remotely? And if you miss a call do you begin the call back with an apology for not being immediately available? Why is that? If we were in our offices, would we apologize if we missed a call while we were in conversation, or down the hall? Something shifted. It didn’t shift with the pandemic; it was before that. It’s now in bright lights though. We began measuring productivity by our output in the age of technology. How many metrics do we have that measure productivity by output? Actually, how many don’t?  That’s our problem.

Our brains want predictability and certainty over everything else. It’s why change is hard – because it might be certain, but it’s not predictable. It’s why the pandemic pushed us to the root level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs — looking for toilet paper and canned goods for physiological, and then psychological safety. And it’s why we feel the anxiety of being all things to all our people right now. And then right now. And still right now. This anxiety was fueled by adrenaline in the beginning, which is now more than 4 years ago! We ran out. If you are feeling fatigued, you are not alone.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote:

“In each pause I hear the call.”

In more modern words, Dov Seidman said:

“When you press the pause button on a machine it stops.

When you press the pause button on a human it starts.”

When we pause, we reflect. We give ourselves the gift of integrating vast amounts of knowledge around us into application. Pausing isn’t an output, so it’s not productive by our current measures. Dare I say, the pause is the input, which leads to greater output. We continually choose our priorities with the language of “I don’t have time…”. Are you conscious of your choices?

In the pause, we rethink our assumptions. Let’s pause together — first to put ourselves in good posture, both feet on the floor, shoulders back over our spine and not acting as earrings, head upright and parallel to the ground. Next, let’s tend to our breath. Deepen your inhale and your exhale. Close your eyes if you are comfortable. Contemplate this – are you living the life you should or the one you want? Because should’n all over yourself is messy…and stinky. And it is exhausting. Should looks like having to prove your place, your expertise. How much of your energy are you focused on NOT being something because you should?

Now I’d like you to visualize the life you want. Now is our time to reimagine what is possible. What are the boundaries of your workday? When do you stop responding? (and no, NEVER isn’t the answer) What is your ideal responsive rate? End of day, within 24 hours, what is realistic for you and for them? Where do you invest in yourself through reflection time? Or let’s call it integration time. Dare I call it vacation time? Continue your deeper breathing, maintain your eyes closed so our visual intake isn’t disrupting our imagination.

Notice the stories your telling yourself. Is there a story about having your eyes closed? Is there a story about investing time in yourself? What happens if you contribute 30 minutes a day to your wellbeing? What would have to shift in your priorities? What message would you send to others about their self-care? How is that possible? (not how is it impossible?)

Sometimes we live in our stories. We have them — they are our memories. Think about the story you tell yourself about self-care. Does it include reasons to not have more of it? Who benefits from your investment in you? See their faces; how would they respond to you if you told them you were investing in your wellbeing? Now is our time to reimagine.

Keep breathing. And if your eyes are still closed, gently bring them back. Not all at once. Slowly, along with your breath.

Now, surface with what you want for 2025. How much pause will you incorporate into your calendar? How about capturing thinking time in your first quarter by blocking your calendar right now? New habits begin with new intentions and new ideas. I challenge you to start yours today.

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